Are You Planning An Open Adoption With The Birth Mother?
Have you and your spouse tried for many years to have a baby? Perhaps there have been disappointments along the way. Maybe you have finally come to the conclusion that, if you want to be parents, adoption is the best avenue for that to happen.
Maybe you have already taken care of all of the adoption proceedings. If so, you might already be on a waiting list for your baby. Or, maybe you have already connected with the woman who will bear the baby that you will end up adopting. If that's the case, does that also mean that it will be an open adoption?
Perhaps the birth mother chose you and your spouse through an adoption agency, knowing that she would still have connections to the baby throughout his or her life. It might be that you want an open adoption so that, hopefully, abandonment issues won't be a major problem for the baby as he or she gets older.
Names Are Important - If it will for sure be an open adoption, there are many things you will want to consider. As with many other things in life, communication is a key factor.
Have you thought that letting the birth mother help in selecting the baby's name would be a good beginning in your relationship? Think of you and your spouse selecting the first name and letting the birth mother choose the baby's middle name or vice versa.
By the same token, talk to the birth mother about what the baby will call her. Remember that in today's world, where there are stepmothers as part of families, many children call more than one mother something like Mom or Mommy. As the adoptive mother, maybe you can be Mommy and the birth mother could be Mama. Or, maybe the birth mother will she go by a nickname that represents motherhood. Something like Mommy Jane might work. The name is something that you and the birth mother can agree on even before the baby is born.
Visitations Are Key - Your lawyer or a representative from the adoption agency can help you and the birth mother establish visitation guidelines. It's important for decisions on visitation to be written, with a copy going to you and another copy going to the birth mother.
For instance, you might be most comfortable having visits only on special occasions, say on a particular holiday or on the baby's birthday. Between the actual visits, face-to-face visits via technology might also be a good way to create a bond between the baby and the birth mother. Think of sending the birth mother actual photographs of the baby, too.
No matter what is decided regarding visitations or any other adoption-related issues, be sure that the laws are always followed exactly. You might also want to work with a mediator in order to plan an open adoption that will focus on the baby's happiness.
To learn more, contact a company that offers open adoption services.