If your spouse had an affair but you do not want to get a divorce, there are many things you can do to get your marriage back on track again. It does take time to build your trust back again and your spouse has to be willing also. Below are two things you can do so you can prevent getting a divorce.
Go to Marriage Counseling
One of the most important things you can do is go to marriage counseling. A counselor has an unbiased view of your marriage and they can see where the problems are. Because your spouse had an affair there are likely things going on that you may not see on your own.
You can hire a professional marriage counselor. Make an appointment with someone and talk with them. This can give you a feel on if you and your spouse feels comfortable with them. This is important as you will be talking about some very personal things in your life.
There are also religious marriage counselors that you can find through your church. These counselors use a Biblical view on marriage principles to help you get through this bad time.
If your spouse is not willing to go to counseling go on your own at first. The marriage counselor can give you some tips on how you can get your spouse to go. Check out Tim Robbins Counseling for starters.
If you have a hard time communicating with your spouse this may be one of the reasons they strayed. Instead of speaking to them write them love notes. This could be a long note filled will your feelings or you could write small notes to them.
Leave loving affirmations for them throughout your home where they will find them. Do not go overboard on this, however. Start out writing the first note and then sit down and talk to your spouse about what you wrote. If you opened up more in your note than you ever have face to face this will help your spouse see you differently.
You should also ask your spouse to write a list of things they love about you and things they don't and you do the same. This may show you things that you did not realize you were doing so you can make some changes.
You should continue your counseling and trying to get your marriage back on track on a continual basis.